I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
