the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There's always time for handjobs
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize