I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
