I want to walk on stilts...naked
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
