I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize