Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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