Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
bring money and cleavage
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A+ Viking dick
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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