Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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