dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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