you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
