I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
