Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize