I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
