Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
