It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
