i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
