Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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