whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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