Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize