You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
