I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
