Pants 0. Shit 1.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We had to coat check the pizza.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
