Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
