Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wish i was in the wii world.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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