We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize