i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
