i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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