Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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