I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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