So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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