Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
