Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
