I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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