I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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