I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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