Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
