I need help removing her.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
