Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.