babies were throwing up all over the place
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now