yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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