Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
