I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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