Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
