I puked a lego.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
