There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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