I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My dick has a subreddit
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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