Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
there was a trapeze. enough said
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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