You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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