I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
