I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
