oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
