they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
