Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize