I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
