3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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