WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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