I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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