upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.