peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.