so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
