you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
