WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
